Once we finish sharing all about our memories and past experiences, there is hardly anything new under the sun that your partner won't know. And that's probably one of the big transitions that married couples go through. Past experiences are just that, in the past, and it's limited because all you have are memories that you can talk about but can't really do anything about it. So, having current information or newsflashes are the next thing the couple shares. It's what-happened-to-me-today and what-i-experienced-today-and-i-want-to-share-it-with-you. But then again, is this enough to sustain an interesting relationship or at least it doesn't make the couple realise that this relationship seems boring and start to worry that it's going to stay this way for the rest of their lives?
I talked about sharing the past, which we will eventually empty it all to the other partner. I also talked about sharing what is current, which most of the time, may be snippets of additional knowledge that your partner knows about you on a daily basis. I'd like to think there's a third domain which is not merely the future. In this domain, we share OUR COMMON goals for the future. And what could be more rewarding than goals which are fulfilling especially in the likes of making-the-world-a-better-place? Such goals not only gives us a common topic to talk and update each other about("current" domain), but because it's a worthy and fulfilling goal, there is much hope, drive and inspiration to ensure it's fulfilled. For example, maybe some common goals could be saving money to sponser a child in Thailand, or setting up a ministry in church, giving bible studies to people, doing seminars together, or ways you've blessed others on the Sabbath or have been blessed yourself. Notice that it's not just goals like saving up for a car, a condo or the renovation. It's in a different league of its own.
But the goal doesn't stop when you have achieved it. Once you've sponsered that child, you regularly visit him/her. One of my church friends, Siow Huat, does that and that's his and his wife's joy. Setting up or maintaining a ministry that continually seeks improvements.
I was at MPH last week and i saw a book with a title something like "When your team has become successful, it's time to change"..what i weird title for a book. But its premise is that we tend to become complacent when we reach success. So the lesson to draw here is to be on the lookout for ways to improve and spice up the ministry. Of course burnout might happen with people managing ministries. But avoiding burnout is another issue i won't deal here.
I think of Ron and Nancy doing seminars together. It's evident that their common goal is to see lives changed through them. They are in the business of changing lives and it's exciting! It's like they are on a roller coaster ride. Not the emotional roller coaster that most of us are familiar about, but the roller coaster of excitement and exhilaration in life.
The last example is making it a common goal to open your eyes and ears for what God does on you and others through you on the Sabbath. Why particularly the Sabbath when God can use us on any other day too? Because i believe we are blessed MORE since He blessed it and it gives you more motivation to be on the lookout because you kinda expect it more. I've done it a few times and whenever i do it, i never fail to catch God's blessings in my life and others thru me.
Now you can say that having common goals that are fulfilling is actually another way of saying that we strive to grow closer to Christ or to exemplify Christ. As mentioned, goals to make the world a better place are highly satisfying. When Christ was on earth, that's exactly what He did. He was concerned for individuals and strived to meet their need. He felt great emphathy for crowds of inviduals and sought to heal them physically or emotionally whenever He could. He had an eye on people and many agree that helping others is highly satisfying. As Christ said
"Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” Luke 6:38.
Are there more exciting and worthwhile common goals to have with your partner besides doing something Christ-like? I don't know for sure...
"Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things" Matt 25:21
But what i do know is that doing something that is right and in which you know God would commend is highly satisfying. And to have this common goal fulfilled with your partner....priceless.
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